A Secret Passion

The smell of it, as I remove the shipping wrap is sharp. The paper smells freshly cut and printed. It is heavier than I remember.

I glide my fingers across the gloss of the cover, down the spine.

Like any good piece of literature, it is more than the sum of its parts. There are individual pages, individual passages which are artful, beautiful. But taken as a whole it transforms, it blends and mixes and unifies. It breathes. And it speaks. It speaks about a world of possibility and the search for substance over style. Of a lost generation’s yearning to understand what is real and good and pure – maybe of every generation’s need for that sense of solidity; of gritty, healthy profundity.

Of course I devour it. The anachronism, the self-contradiction, it does not engage, it compels. Every page makes you want to live up to it, to be worthy of what it offers. It would be difficult, and expensive, but you think about who you would be if you could really master and harness those forces. You would need no other god. You could literally reach out and grab the world and form it to your will and set it back and say “There. It is done. I have created. And I have done it with love, and with precision, and it is beautiful and it is real.”

The Lee Valley annual catalog is better than porn.

Foaming Soap

You know this stuff, it’s everywhere now. It’s soap, only it comes out pre-foamed for your convenience. I’m supposed to make some wry comment now about how lazy our society has become when we can’t even rub our hands together to lather soap (to say nothing of actually washing our hands to begin with) but I can’t make that comment because I have a secret:

I really like the stuff.

We have the Dawn antibacterial foaming stuff in the Kitchen, it lasts forever and smells vaguely citrus-ish. They just replaced the soap dispensers at work with foaming versions, so I decided I had to know what the big fuss was all about. It’s not particularly mysterious. A refill lasts a lot longer since the perceived amount dispensed is higher. The dispensers take sealed 1L bags of the liquid, so there is less mess when refilling (just swap bags) and also less risk of contamination. This is a nice idea, since I have always secretly suspected that the nastiest part of any public bathroom is probably the inside of one of those pink-tar soap dispensers, which has probably been topped up for the last 5 years without an actual cleaning. And of course, in a corporate setting, anything that decreases absenteeism by encouraging people not to track their flu-infected feces all over the building is a good thing for the bottom line.

None of which is cause for a blog entry. My readers should understand that I thoroughly filter and inspect any candidate material for this blog before posting. That which makes the front page is really only the metaphorical orange that learned how to pole vault with a straw, in the (metaphorical) Tropicana Orange Juice that is my blog. My soap ravings, enthralling though they may be, would not have made the cut, were it not for the good people at Parish Maintenance Supply, a commercial/industrial janitorial company. If you feel that my own fervor on the subject has been somewhat, shall we say, zealous, then you really need to check out their page.

People are getting excited about foaming soaps. They find the smooth, creamy feel very appealing and enjoy the convenience and total luxury of having their soap pre-lathered before washing.

Total luxury. Of pre-lathered soap. I think they say it best,

Users will think “Awesome!”

I wonder if it gets tiresome for Google…

… to keep rocking and rocking and rocking.

I refer, of course, to Google Talk. I haven’t gotten on board yet, but for those who are interested, you can download the official client or check here for deets on getting GAIM, Trillian, and possibly other clients up and running. All signs point to it basically being a jabber style implementation server-side, with support for text IM and voice. Seems that all you need (other than the aforementioned usefully-configured client) is a gmail address, email me if you need one of those (does anybody still need one of those?) I think I need to get this up and running RFSN[?].

On another note, I was rather displeased with the new google desktop client. People have been telling me for a while that GD is one of those indispensable-once-you-have-it technologies and I believe the desktop search capability might be. But their new client acts as a very-useful looking sidebar as well, with weather, news, todo lists, and a plugin architecture, I was ready to be quite excited. On inspection though, I find that auto-hide doesn’t work properly (it hides but won’t come back if you have maximized windows) and I couldn’t find an always-on-top switch. I think I’ll write them, they’ve been good about responding to email about search engine things in the past, so hopefully they have people paying attention. As I said, I’m ready to be very hyped about it, indeed to develop for it, but certain things need to work effortlessly or they aren’t worth using at all.

Using caffeine intelligently

or A Cognitive Scientist Talks About Caffeine

I am not a pharmacist, and I am certainly not a doctor. I didn’t even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. I am, however, a big fan of caffeine, and the recipient of a four year honours bachelor of science degree in Cognitive Science and Artificial Intelligence, so I know a thing or two about minds. Because using caffeine (or any stimulant for that matter) is largely a mental affair, and because we are on the internet, I feel this adequately qualifies me to prattle on for some length.

My goal in writing this is to help people use caffeine more effectively by helping to understand its effects. But there are a lot of things that are not my goal and it is only fitting to discuss them right up front. I’m not trying to start a debate about whether caffeine has long term health effects. Because it is a nice thing, it has perforce garnered plenty of accusations that it causes limbs to fall off and hair to grow where there wasn’t hair before, and so on. That is a discussion that is best left to properly conducted, properly controlled, long term studies, but as a quick and by no means comprehensive review…

Likewise I’m not going to go on about how it seems to reduce the risk of Parkinson’s Disease and prevent skin cancer, liver cancer and others. That is for another discussion, but suffice it to say that even if it weren’t a stimulant it might be worth taking strictly for the health benefits.
Continue reading “Using caffeine intelligently”

Doubleshot to the heart

As posted moments ago on the appropriate starbucks contact form. This is important people. We need to get a grassroots god damned uprising going. [For the uninitiated, I refer to this.]

— SNIP —

Item: The starbucks doubleshot is a stroke of caffeinated genius.

Item: My friends and I want more of it. MUCH more.

Item: We live in Canada.

The current calculus of doubleshot availability makes us very sad because the moral is that in order to keep ourselves supplied, we need to travel to the US, which we are only too happy to do, but which is rather prohibitive on a daily basis.

It would do our spirits almost incalculable good to know the following:

– How can we best order quantities (maybe LARGE quantities) of this delivered to our collective doorsteps?
– When can we expect to see it in stores up here.

If you need us to elect a particular party to government, or grant you tax free status, we’ll see what we can do, just please don’t make us beg.

Unless that will get us our doubleshots, in which case we’re not above it.

With sincerest regards,

Johnathan Nightingale

Edit: Aug 15. They replied:

Dear Mr. Nightingale:

Thank you for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company.

The canned DoubleshotT coffee drink is currently available nationwide in the United States and parts of Canada. You may find them any place Pepsi products are available. If your local grocery does not carry them, please inform the store manager that you would like these to be available for purchase. Please contact your local Pepsi distributor to obtain information regarding finding the product locally. Unfortunately they are not available through mail order or online.

Thank you again for contacting Starbucks. If you have any further questions or concerns, please contact us at info@starbucks.com or call (800) 23-LATTE to speak with a customer relations representative.

Sincerely,

Jessa M.

Customer Relations Representative

Starbucks Coffee Company

God Bless You Jessa. Now the hunt is on.