Spiritus Frumenti

eBay and I have a relationship that is more flirtation than passion. Of course I know how sexy it can be. Of course I want to get to know it better. But eBay is an expensive mistress, so my feedback is a withered little 5, because I rarely actually buy the things there that I covet.

I am, however, so thoroughly chuffed with a recent purchase there that I must share. Thanks to the kind auspices of ginger.1 I am the proud owner of this:

Prescription (small)

It’s a prescription from December of 1924. A very special prescription, printed on a very special prescription pad issued by the U.S. Treasury department. It’s a prescription for Spiritus Frumenti, filled in Providence, RI. This is exciting for me, because 1924 is right in the middle of prohibition and Spiritus Frumenti, as the Latin geeks have no doubt already ascertained, is whiskey.

I have always loved old paper, but I am particularly fond of old paper which reflects old ways of thinking, and reminds me that people have always been crazy. This one is particularly great because it also reminds me that people have always been wily about wrangling their way around government prohibitions of things that are fun. And as you all know, I’m a real fan of people.

The Aeroplan Game: An ethnography

AeroplanSteph’s sister Jody says my posts are boring. I choose to interpret this to mean that my posts are fascinating, but on topics which do not readily proclaim their relevance to her life. In any event, today’s will be no exception, because I’m going to be talking about frequent flyer miles; but also about voyeurism, so there’s some excitement for you.

Aeroplan, and programs like it, are a real challenge for geeks. On the one hand, as a demographic with higher-than-average concern for issues of digital surveillance and privacy, loyalty programs like Aeroplan which allow a company to profile your purchases and predict which brand of condom you will enjoy are viewed as being somewhat intrusive. On the other hand, Aeroplan miles bear a disturbing resemblance to points, and games with points, where intelligence can be applied to earn more points, well brother, that might well be called our oeuvre.
Continue reading “The Aeroplan Game: An ethnography”

Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge

A Google search reveals that this book isn’t nearly as well known as I would have thought (only 16,000 hits), and Amy hadn’t heard of it either so it must needs be posted here. Don’t ever say that my cognitive science degree never brought you any joy.

So I guess it was in one of my philosophy classes – ontology maybe, or philosophy of mind – that I first heard about it, but in a 4 year cog sci degree you can’t avoid hearing about this book half a dozen times. It comes up virtually any time you get into a conversation about classifications, taxonomies or crazy people.

The book, Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge, is an extremely old Chinese encyclopedia, or so the legend goes, and was translated by a guy named Franz Kuhn (no, not the Structure of Scientific Revolutions guy, that’s Thomas). It might have been lost to antiquarian irrelevancy if it were not for one crucial section which set out the categories of animals in the world. Keep in mind, this is centuries if not millennia before the whole Linnean classification was developed (Kingdom Phylum Class Order Family Genus Species – my mnemonic was Kings Play Chess On Fine Green Sod – what was yours?) and yet it is absolutely enrapturing. How, you ask, does an animal classification system rise to the level of rapture? The 13 categories it outlined are as follows:

(a) those that belong to the Emperor,
(b) embalmed ones,
(c) those that are trained,
(d) suckling pigs,
(e) mermaids,
(f) fabulous ones,
(g) stray dogs,
(h) those that are included in this classification,
(i) those that tremble as if they were mad,
(j) innumerable ones,
(k) those drawn with a very fine camel’s hair brush,
(l) others,
(m) those that have just broken a flower vase,
(n) those that resemble flies from a distance.

Tell me that isn’t beautiful. I absolutely adore that list, and revisit it because its crazy randomness breaks you out of any structure you might be building up around yourself. And yet, it isn’t random, quite. There’s an almost deliberate lack of overlap, a perverse balance.

Or maybe not – in any event I had always loved the list and had to share for those who might not yet have encountered it.

PS – It goes without saying, of course, that lo these thousands of years later, with the advent of the internet, Web 2.0, folksonomies, and tagging, that we have come full circle and can now have a cat which is classified, at once, as fabulous, embalmed, and drawnWithVeryFineCamelHairBrush.

Britain thus far

On the whole I believe I approve of Britain. I’m having a great deal of difficulty figuring out how long I’ve been awake right now – I woke up on Tuesday at 7am, and my watch claims it is now roughly 4pm on Wednesday. Somewhere in there though my watch wound through 5 hours of watch-time in mere seconds of Johnathan-time so I believe the closest estimate is that this is roughly hour 28 or so. I’m reasonably certain that I haven’t slept in that time, though I guess it’s conceivable that I just don’t remember. I’m not accustomed to feeling this fuzzy, it’s almost like being drunk, and it causes my food not to sit right. That’s another thing. After eating a second “dinner” around midnight, and then continuing to travel for several more hours, I have no idea when I’m supposed to eat anymore – I’m basically playing it by ear. I think I’ve had 5 meals since my last sleep, including most recently something called a steak bake, which is like the lovechild of a Jamaican patty (without the spice) and a beef pot pie (without the pot pie).

It’s not that the travel is killing me or anything like that, 28 hours isn’t even particularly epic (though the estimated 35 by the time I get to sleep tonight is more so,) it’s just that right at the moment, sleep is sort of front-of-mind for me. What coherence I retain though argues vehemently that to sleep now is to ensure my schedule is messed up for the rest of the week – better to just slug it out and then wake up tomorrow 100% on Leeds time.

Leeds is like… hmm – it’s like Hamilton mixed with Kingston, or perhaps with a very old part of Etobicoke. You can tell it’s an industrial town or used to be, it has that sort of rough-ness to it but, being a sizable British city and all, it’s steeped in the same million years of history that every other sizable British city is, so the whole place has this beautiful aged patina to it. Stone walkways everywhere, and stone walls lining the roads – on the cab ride in to my hotel I noticed that ISO-standard red-bricks of the kind any North American is quite used to are the exception here. There are plenty of them, don’t get me wrong, but only in new construction, everywhere you look you see stone, not brick.

Also, people talk about the rolling hills of the English countryside. Seriously. I just, it’s difficult to explain. You never, never, pass an open field that is level. Ontario is not Saskatchewan, we like to think we have all 3 dimensions well represented, but you can drive for miles in Ontario with farmers fields to either side keeping roughly to where the horizon puts them; not here. Every open field is either rising up away from you at something like a 30+ degree angle, or you just can’t see it because it’s dropped away from you, and in the distance you see it ebb and flow half a dozen times. Quite astoundingly picturesque, like some parts of Hwy 10 through Caledon only everywhere, in every direction.  In Sim City 3000 when the random map generator produced something like this, I used to spend a lot of money on bulldozers.
Their pigeons here are the same as our pigeons at home, and they also have Starlings, which shouldn’t surprise me since our Starlings are European imports, but it was still nice to see a familiar face.

The hotel is well executed – the front desk person even went out and bought me a power adapter/converter when I asked if they had any and she said she’d “check.” I know it’s a $3 piece of kit, but she still gets bonus points for that.

The highlight of the trip thus far was about 20 seconds long — when we swung around for our final approach to Heathrow, and the sun was rising over the Thames and even though I don’t know London, I know the shape of that river, and I know the shape of the last 5 centuries or so around that river. Seeing it full of activity on a beautiful, sunny morning was an image I will remember — despite my fatigue.

Now I’m going to post this and rationalize with myself about why napping for a couple hours won’t hurt my sleep tonight.

Which Way to England?

Leeds CastleI know I don’t talk about work much here. It’s not that I don’t enjoy what I do – far from it – it just seems a little like I would either have to speak in extremely vague terms at which point I’m not sure how much meaning I could convey, or I’d have to actually get into what a product like WebSphere Integration Developer actually does, and I’m not sure that’s healthy for anyone who doesn’t get paid to understand it.

It’s also not like there hasn’t been anything to talk about. My work life lately has been rewarding, but also kind of crazy. Without getting into details here that might come back to haunt me (Hello coworkers!) suffice it to say that I was recently caught in a bit of a tug of war for my services which, while it made my life relatively complex for a time, is what we in the business like to call a “high quality problem.” I stayed put. This has made my manager happy, and I think sort of frustrated the other folks because it really was a good offer, and I imagine they think I’m crazy for turning it down. What can I say? My year thus far working with the usability group has been outstanding and, as I observed to Amy while turning this situation over in my head at the time, it is that work which has exposed me to the opportunities that now want to pull me back into development. So, you know, yay and all.

One of the things I’ve been spending a fair bit of time on lately is a usability overhaul on WebSphere Message Broker, another of those IBM products that you either already know about because you use it every day, or probably don’t need to be spending neurons on if you don’t. This is not me being patronizing or anything; I’m sure you, gentle reader, are more than capable of comprehending it, I’m just trying to spare you some hellfire and torment here. Anyhow the point is: the tool is worlds better than it used to be, and the developers have done a fantastic job turning our recommendations into actual working code, so on balance I’m really quite chuffed. But all our self-congratulation is nothing if customers don’t like it, and so we’ve been letting a couple customers take a sneak peek at it so that we, in turn, can take a sneak peek at what the market’s reaction to our changes might be. They appear equally, at the risk of repeating myself, chuffed. But we’re not done talking to them just yet, which is why next week I’m flying to Leeds.

Yes, that Leeds. Tuesday afternoon I fly out, Friday afternoon I fly back. In between I have all of about a day to tour myself around Leeds and forget what I’m supposed to be presenting. On Friday I’ve actually got something like a 5 hour layover at Heathrow which is just about long enough to want desperately to leave the airport, but not long enough to do anything of substance in London. If anyone wants to cite a must-see Leeds attraction for me to keep in mind, now would be the time, but in any event I’ll try to post some photos or blog from the hotel or something equally internet-enabled.

In other work-related news (since I might as well get it all out in one go) I’ve got an article coming up in the January edition (on newsstands in December) of Dr. Dobbs’ Journal. My geek friends will know DDJ but in case my parents are reading it’s a very nice magazine about software development. And while I can’t be completely sure, I think it might be the first time a DDJ feature article has mentioned marijuana, however tangentially; certainly the first time an IBM article has done so. My buddy Rick and I have another one in the pipeline about what’s wrong with the help system in most software, but that’s more likely to hit a technical writing trade mag rather than a mass-media affair (we’re thinking ACM Interactions or STC’s Intercom, other suggestions from the technical writing peanut gallery are welcome).

There now – I talked about work with mentioning Business Process Management, message mediation flows or SOAP over HTTP WSDL bindings. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
[Leeds castle photo credit: starrgazr – Edited to add photo credit – apologies to rss readers that pull down an otherwise meaningless update]

Post of the Moment

Water Sculpture

A snapshot of my cognitive state at the moment, as viewed though a currently-relevant subselection of its outbound content-connections matrix.

Book of the moment: 5 Lessons: Modern Fundamentals of Golf, Ben Hogan. If you’ve ever heard that old saw about how you can’t learn to swim by reading a book, then you’ve no doubt heard the equally old saw about the professor who decided to do so. Curiously the story never includes anything about the professors’ field of study or notable works, so I think it’s safe to assume that he died during the process. Nevertheless, if ever it were possible to learn a specialized, intricate, mechanical process strictly by reading, this is the book with which to do it. It is extremely well written, and perfectly relevant despite being 50 years old. It is also 127 pages cover to cover, and has some of the most living illustrations I’ve ever seen. I don’t know how else to explain them except that in black and white line art, the illustrator (who has a history in anatomical illustration, it should be noted) manages to convey more motion and tension and life than a lot of art I’ve seen with a much richer palette at its disposal.

Restaurant of the Moment: Eggspectation. Apparently there is one in Vaughan Mills, one in the Eaton Centre, one in Quebec, and one in New Delhi. The overuse of “egg” puns is quickly quite upsetting, but the service was quick and competent, and the food was fantastic. I had an.. ahem… “egg-chilada” which is basically an omelette with green, red, and jalepeño peppers, 3 cheeses, and a salsa topping. It was delicious, and Amy was equally happy with her spinach and ricotta crêpes. It should be noted that she did find a piece of cardboard in there, but the staff was suitably appalled (and quick to take it off our bill) that I can believe it is a rare occurrence. They also brought toast with butter, margarine, and 3 kinds of jam. “Always have 3 kinds of jam” is one of the few real absolutes in life.

Link of the Moment: Liquid Sculpture. High speed camera tricks are always good for eye candy, but doubly so when somebody sets out to really plan the water droplets just so. Yummy.

TV Series of the Moment: Battlestar Galactica. We are caught up now and waiting for season 3. We are gobbling up the webisodes. You had us at hello. (Props to little Mikey Beltzner for forcing me to watch the miniseries.)

Car CD of the Moment: Best of Bootie 2005. They aren’t all good, but a lot of them are of sufficiently surpassing quality that the overall excellence quotient is above average to a statistically significant degree. I also can’t get enough of Justin’s Sexyback, Beyoncé’s Ring the Alarm, The Killers’ All the things that I’ve done, and Feist, but I appreciate that since all of those acts have publicity and airplay, enjoying their music makes me a mainstream braindead consumer culture pablum-fed red meat red state suv driving war in iraq gated community white establishment corporate whore, so I try to lead with the Best of Bootie.

[Image credit Martin Waugh]

On Golf

Curvy Ponds and PalmsAs I observed recently to a friend of mine, I am officially white. I drive a Volvo, I wear collared shirts on weekends, and as of about 2 months ago, I golf. In fact the thing I find most absurd about it all is that it has taken me this long to get into golfing. A game played outdoors for hours at a time; a precision game, where you keep score mostly just to judge your own performance; a reasonably leisurely walk amidst trees and ponds and swallows; it is everything a game should be, for me.

I’m still quite bad at it, you understand. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be good, at least not good good. But as I’ve observed in the past, inexperience and lack of authoratative knowledge is not an impediment out here in the tubes. Thus it is without misgiving or remorse that, despite my relative neophytism, I wade nipple-deep into the corpulent morass of internet golf advice to offer my…

8 Things I Wish People Had Told Me About Golf Continue reading “On Golf”

Shibboleth Resumé

HeadshotResumés are funny things because the one thing they don’t tell you is the one thing you want to know. As an employer, what I suspect I really want is a way to separate wheat from chaff. I want a way to say “Yes, fine, you have all the necessary checkboxes in place, but are you one of the good ones?” Even if you allow yourself the confidence necessary to believe that you are indeed one of the good ones, a resume is a terrible medium since, stylistically, it tends to force people down the path of enumeration-sans-substance. What is needed is a shibboleth. Don’t tell me which certifications you have, tell me that you are part of the culture. Don’t tell me what programming languages you know, tell me that you can kick ass and take names. Everyone who isn’t a bozo (seriously, go read that if you’re ever hiring someone) should be trying to hire the brightest lights in the building, so show them how you roll, or find another job to apply for.

That is how I would like things to go down, but even very hip HR folk would have trouble with a shibboleth resumé, I’m guessing. If I were applying for a job tomorrow, it would probably be something involving usability, security, and overall technology development. The resumé I’d send to a shibboleth-friendly company might read like this (standard disclaimers about the fact that any decent resumé almost automatically sounds boastful and egocentric; my apologies): Continue reading “Shibboleth Resumé”